WHY SO SERIOUS? (IT'S THE OSCARS, AFTER ALL...)

A few thoughts on the 2008/09 Academy Award Nominations, released this morning, Melbourne time...

THE DARK KNIGHT THING:

Come on, AMPAS, stop being so damn prejudiced. In fact, I demand a recount. Go back, vote again, and get back to me when the polls are counted and THE DARK KNIGHT takes its rightful place as 2009's Oscar Colossus, with a record-breaking 15 nominations -- with Best Picture, Director, Actor, Supporting Actor (x3, for Eckhart and Caine, as well as Heath), Adapted Screenplay, Costume Design, Original Score, etc, on top of the eight it already scored -- befitting the towering, groundbreaking epochal moment in film TDK is. 

After all, it changed the way we see movies, has changed hundreds of millions of lives, inspired a generation of filmmakers, and has redefined the art of feature films as we know it -- so, at least acknowledge all that.

*cough*

Okay, so I'm being facetious. But close your eyes, type a random sequence of letters into Google and hit enter. Then click on the nearest blog link and, chances are, you'll be treated to an anti-Oscar diatribe gushing over the film in exactly this fashion. People have lost their collective minds over THE DARK KNIGHT, and I really don't see why. Don't get me wrong: it's a very good flick. But calls of capital-G Greatness are, to be polite, premature. There's an arseload of folks who really need to breathe, have a Bex and a lie down, and get some distance between them and this film. 

In my recent 2008 wrap up, it was an agonising, line-ball decision as to whether TDK made my Top 10 list, or my Top 5 Most Overrated list. I had a hankering to put it on both, but ultimately -- thanks to an average year for movies, more than anything else -- it squeezed into the Top 10. Even now, that decision doesn't sit entirely well with me, but it's how I felt at the time of publication, so I'll call it a snapshot and move on. But it could've gone either way. 

But 2008 was a fairly average year for movies (particularly if you only count the Oscar-eligible releases, and filter out all that great stuff from the start of the year -- THERE WILL BE BLOOD, JUNO, LARS AND THE REAL GIRL, et al), and maybe audiences just really needed a hero. Not the one we want, but the one we-- um, well, you know the rest. Give me the little boxy robot dude, any day of the week, or the big "broken down piece o' meat". Those two richly deserve a Best Picture spot ahead of TDK. 

However... if the real issue here is not how "Great" THE DARK KNIGHT is, but how the Academy Awards continually pisses on genre pictures, then the argument gains both legs and validity. Of the films I saw, WALL-E was the best Oscar-eligible feature film of 2008... but that's why they invented the Best Animated Feature category, so those damn Pixar nerds couldn't take Best Picture Oscars away from films featuring emotive performances from good, god-fearing, good-looking flesh and blood actors, and steal all our jobs, and our women, and refuse to assimilate, and... 

*ahem*

The Best Animated Feature category cuts the legs off another popularly acclaimed cash cow, the animated feature (or, more pointedly, the PIXAR animated feature). So comic book films and animations are out. Comedies and non-historical actioners never have a chance, and neither do thrillers (THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS was as big a one-off fluke as the Oscars have ever seen). As for science fiction or horror... bwahahahahaha! Yeah, right. Like that's ever gonna happen. (THE EXORCIST and STAR WARS were nominated in the 1970s, but they're both special cases, from a special decade.)  And now we come to my ultimate point: to paraphrase a past unworthy Oscar winner, "Oscar is as Oscar does". 

In our heart of hearts, did we really expect the 5,900 or so members of the Academy -- about 3,500 of which are over 50 -- to vote a Batman movie as Best Picture??  I mean, what does the film say about social tolerance, the vagaries of the human heart, social injustice or the endless struggle to find love?  (And don't give me any of that Rachel Dawes shit, I'm warning you right now.)  Even though I'm not batshit about DARK KNIGHT, I would love to live in a world where something like that could happen. 

We've seen this before: a superhero film broke box office records on its way to three-quarters of a billion worldwide and set new standards for comic book adaptations along the way, while the latest offering from Pixar told arguably the most adult story -- in terms of subtext and complexity -- of any animated film ever released by Disney on its path to a crapload of money, uniformly excellent reviews and the love of nearly all who saw it, regardless of their age. Yet, after the dust of the 2004 Oscars had cleared, SPIDER-MAN 2* was nominated in just 3 technical categories, winning one, and THE INCREDIBLES* was cordoned off behind the velvet rope of the Best Animated Feature category. (And as much as people are carping about a lukewarmly recieved film like THE READER pushing out DARK KNIGHT, spare a thought for S2 and INCREDIBLES, hustled out of the Best Pic race by such modern classics as RAY and FINDING NEVERLAND. In addition, THE AVIATOR was strictly a middle-of-the-pack effort for Scorsese, and even SIDEWAYS seems vastly overrated now.) 

(*Not to mention, in this blogger's humble opinion, SPIDER-MAN 2 & THE INCREDIBLES are far superior to this year's offerings.)

As infuriating as it is, to a certain extent you can't blame the Academy Awards for being the Academy Awards. It's with great interest to me that this year's Best Picture nominees are made up of the following types:

- Epic romance

- Political drama

- Biopic

- Holocaust drama

- Indie Feel Good drama

Now, if you were to hazard a guess as to what kinds of films the post-WWII Academy Awards have fiercely gravitated towards, they would have to be it. Meanwhile, popular blockbuster hits are rewarded with a swag of technical nominations -- the genre film's Oscar booby prize, from DIE HARD to TERMINATOR 2 to, now, WALL-E and THE DARK KNIGHT. This year's list of nominees is a textbook list from a textbook organisation whose relevance has been steadily diminishing for over a decade now. If they don't smarten up soon, they're in real danger of looking like the Grammys. (Who may as well call themselves the "Grammas" for all the edginess they have these days.) 

So, before you all moan and cry about THE DARK KNIGHT's snub, look at the facts. It was never. Gonna. Happen. 

THE WRESTLER THING:

Because of the Oscars' ridiculous, byzantine rules for qualifying and quantifying the eligibility of competitors for the Best Original Song category, the best song written for a movie in 2008 slips away completely unrecognised. Apparently Bruce Springsteen -- who wrote a beautiful title song for THE WRESTLER, which encapsulated Mickey Rourke's desperately lonely, broken-down title character -- included his song on his newest album, mere weeks before the WRESTLER's soundtrack album got out there. Despite it being, y'know, written and recorded for the film, it isn't eligible, so they get to throw more non-deserved nods in the direction of SLUMDOG OVERRATEDAIRE. A damn shame, and who wouldn't want to see The Boss play the Oscar Ceremony for the first time since '94? (Come to think of it, maybe he whacked the track on his own album to avoid Oscar duty...?)

THE SALLY HAWKINS THING:

MY GOD. Of all the Oscar fuckups this year (and there wasn't an insane amount, despite appearances to the contrary) this reigns supreme. Hawkins carries HAPPY GO LUCKY solely on her eminently charming shoulders, making a potentially atomically annoying character not only palatable, but utterly believeable and downright loveable. So who gets her place... Angelina Jolie?  Really?!? While I must confess I haven't seen CHANGELING and can't judge this performance, but I did see her supposedly Oscar-worthy turn in A MIGHTY HEART and found it convincing but totally vanilla. I'm yet to be convinced she can completely disappear into a character. Maybe this is the one, but... surely it isn't the full-bodied breakout performance Hawkins delivers. I could be wrong (but I don't think i will be). 

THE SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE THING:

Just as DARK KNIGHT clearly filled a void for movie audiences, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE seems to do so for Oscar voters, or awards voters in general. Are we seriously in need of a feel-good film so badly that we're willing to just anoint this, the usually excellent Danny Boyle's most middling film in nearly a decade?  It's a scarcely plausible fairy tale, filled with cliched one-note characters we barely get attached to because we're too busy blasting through shakily shot, jauntily edited, barely plausible anecdotes before reaching a suspense-free conclusion we not only know is inevitable, but we keep being told is inevitable. Just like the Coen Brothers and NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, they're gonna give the award to the right person for the wrong film. No nominations for SHALLOW GRAVE, TRAINSPOTTING or 28 DAYS LATER, but this cleans up. Oscar is as Oscar does... 

Other than that, it's pretty straightforward, predictable stuff. Despite being a good film that misses out on greatness, THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON actually deserves most of its whopping 13 nominations; it is an absolute technical marvel, wonderfully acted by Brad Pitt and Taraji P. Henson, and (for the most part) beautifully directed. 

SOME STUFF I LIKED:

- As much as I should ideologically be on the other side, I'm ashamed to say I got a small kick out of THE DARK KNIGHT snub. Brings it all back down to earth a bit. 

- Michael Shannon's nomination for Supporting Actor. I haven't seen REVOLUTIONARY ROAD, but I really like this actor. Check out William Friedkin's BUG to see a virtuoso performance from Mr Shannon... in a psychological thriller, no less! 

- Melissa Leo's nomination. Again, I haven't seen FROZEN RIVER, but back in the 90s I was a huge Homicide: Life on the Street fan, in which Ms Leo was dynamite, amongst a crackerjack cast of accomplished character actors. So it's awesome to finally see her get her moment. (Same goes for Richard Jenkins, too.) 

- Best Director nominations for David Fincher and Danny Boyle, directors I've long loved and admired, respectfully.

- BURN AFTER READING getting shut out completely!!

And, to finish up, a weird stat: 

- Best Director nominee Stephen Daldry has made just three feature films (BILLY ELLIOT, THE HOURS and THE READER)... and he's snagged a Best Director nomination for all of them. 3-for-3 out of the gate. Apparently, this is a record. 

Soon... predictions for February 22/23 (depending which hemisphere you're inhabiting)!

Later,

TSIK

BITCHFEST '08: The Good, The Bad & The Underwhelming

Greetings, salutations and a massively Happy New Year to you all!!!

Yeah, yeah... I know I haven't written or called in months, but, hey... I've been... umm... Okay, so there's no real excuse. After promising at least one blog a month, I got lazy. Or maybe my epic 7 part MIFF roundup just wiped me out... I did start a couple of entries late in the year... but... nothing really inspired me.

So, it's both odd and ironic to me that the first blog I've been inspired to write in 2009 is about a wholly uninspiring year for movies. I'm sorry to add my voice to a well-sung chorus, but it's too hard to deny. I saw about 75 new films this year -- 45 at the Melbourne Film Festival -- and about 5 were exceptional, about 15-20 of them were pretty good. Not awesome, excellent, terrific... just... pretty good. (Okay, a handful were awesome.)

I've heard a ton of talk about this year being a great one for geekdom, and for films meeting their promise. While -- after a couple of drinks and some badgering -- you may get me to concur on the first point, I won't back down on the second. If anything, for me, this was the year of the overrated and the underrated -- whether slightly or massively. We had way too many films anointed as worldbeaters before their release, and too many bludgeoned to near-death at the same juncture. It's no coincidence two of my top four films of 2008 were actually 2007 releases we had to wait around for, leaving just one genuine 5 Star Film released worldwide in 2008. Of course, this is one dude's opinion... but, as I am the dude and this is my blog, you'll have to listen along for the time being.

Before we begin, a couple of things to look out for in 2009:

- The Assassination of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer by the Not-Cowardly Moviegoing Public: If the names aren't familiar to you -- and there's no reason why they should be, believe me -- you'll know their "product": anti-creative, violently unfunny quickie "spoof" movies DATE MOVIE, EPIC MOVIE, MEET THE SPARTANS, DISASTER MOVIE... The last two were dropped on us in 2008, however Rothman's House of Quality (20th Century Fox) dropped them to Lionsgate after SPARTANS, and DISASTER proved exactly that, so maybe both the public and the moneymen are finally getting the message. I can just imagine the conversation: "Well, that DATE MOVIE and EPIC MOVIE were fine pictures, but MEET THE SPARTANS just lost the plot..."

- Who Will Be Watching The Watchmen?: I've got a feeling that the film we keep being told is "the most anticipated of 2008" may be just that for geeks, but nobody else. (I can't wait, so that gives you an idea of the target audience right there.) I looked at the trailer through the eyes of a non-geek and was totally baffled. Who are these unknowns in goofy looking suits brooding and running around to Smashing Pumpkins? The second, Muse-scored trailer makes it look like a dark superhero flick, but again questions are asked: Is that guy supposed to be Batman? Who are these people? There's no real sign of what this thing is actually about. Which makes me think it could be either 300 huge or The Spirit low. My pick is it comes in right in the middle, Sin City style. We'll see. But just I don't see it taking over the world.

All right, enough prattling. As with all heroic journeys of myth and legend, let's start at the bottom:

MY LEAST FAVOURITE FILMS OF 2008*
* No internet blogger's "Bottom 10" rant would be complete without this disclaimer: as I am not a critic, paid or otherwise, I am not sent passes nor bound to see any piece of flotsam thrown our way by creatively bankrupt studios out for a quick buck, or certain obtuse indie films with no interest whatsoever in engaging an audience, for that matter. So, for me, potentially craptacular flicks like MEET THE SPARTANS, DISASTER MOVIE, SUPERHERO MOVIE, MEET DAVE, THE LOVE GURU, THE HOUSE BUNNY, THE HAPPENING, MAX PAYNE, THE X-FILES: I WANT THIS TO END or 10,000 B.C. were mercifully absent from my viewing schedule. Didn't see a damn one, and I'm proud of it. So, I give you my "worst of the best"...

10. INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
No movie packed with the creative juice of director Steven Spielberg, producer/storyliner George Lucas, screenwriter David Koepp and star Harrison Ford has any right to be this mediocre. It's a clunky, big-arse stab at a Big Summer Film, and we can only watch in horror as the latest installment of this iconic series barely rises to the level of its many imitators. I'll be upfront with you: I never wanted this project to happen. Why did we need this?? And seeing what a bang-up job Lucas did ushering STAR WARS into the 21st century, I didn't hold much hope for his other major property, and I was sadly vindicated. From the CGI gopher over the opening credits (what is this, CADDYSHACK?!?) to the everything-but-the-kitchen-sink chase sequences (standing on a jeep going over bumps and cliffs while swordfighting with Cate Blanchett... why did we need the hordes of monkeys??), from the stock-standard alien spaceship ending to the final scene with Indy, Marion and Shia LeBeouf... errrgghh, it's too icky (and improbable) to recount. Even with my initial reservations, and bar thusly lowered, this was a huge disappointment. Sadly, a US$780m box office take will only encourage them to elongate this farce further. Ugh.

9. AUSTRALIA
I'm sorry Baz, I had to. You really didn't give me much choice. I know it's made a bundle of money in Oz -- more out of mass curiosity, and a day-late dollar-short impulse to support our local industry, than anything else -- but it really is a massive folly. The good news is, it ain't all bad: for the most part, Baz does pull off the grand sweeping 1940s/50s melodrama -- in terms of look, feel and stupidity, anyway -- the cattle drive sequence is genuinely thrilling, and all of the performances (and that INCLUDES Nicole Kidman) are perfectly pitched for this sort of thing; everyone really rolls up their sleeves and has fun with it, and its fun to see so many Aussie actors getting prominent work in something so huge. In fact, if you view the film in a big, dumb, Old Hollywood fashion, you, too, can definitely have some fun with AUSTRALIA. That is, if it didn't cost a king's ransom, feature a kid who seems to be magic just because he's Aboriginal (aren't they all?) or a Chinaman named "Sing Song", or preach from the pulpit of Indigenous rights in the most patronising way possible (and, from what I've heard, muck about with history a fair bit, too). But it did, it does, and this all leaves a very sour taste in one's mouth. Ultimately, you have to take an in-or-out approach: remove your brain and have fun, or think for a second and be appalled.

8. BURN AFTER READING
No contest: THE most disappointing film of 2008. A classic best-of Coen Brothers cast -- with a couple of huge new additions -- the Brothers coming off a swag of Oscars and their most enigmatic film since BARTON FINK, and a return to the kind of dark caper comedy with which they made their considerable names. So how the hell did we end up with a film which is only sporadically funny, and so often wrongheaded in tone, that it ultimately sinks under the crushing weight of its own pointlessness?? The picture seems to exist only for the Coens to rail against all they hate -- bubble-headed gym buffoons, shady government agencies making "intelligence" an oxymoron, the vanity of our increasingly idiotic image-obsessed culture -- and end up with a mere diatribe from two grumpy old men, which is barely less vapid than the targets they aim to skewer. For the first time in a Coen film, the bursts of extreme violence seem inappropriate, the humour falls flat as often as it soars and, when the credits roll, it all matters not a jot. Joel, Ethan... what the fuck happened?!?

7. CHOKE
Another film I wanted to love, only to emerge afterward wanting the last 100 minutes of my life back. I'm an admirer of Clark Gregg as an actor -- I've enjoyed watching him pop up in everything from THE WEST WING to IRON MAN -- so I was intrigued to see how he'd fare as a writer-director, particularly as he'd decided to adapt Chuck Palahniuk's sophomore novel. Now, we've no right to expect another FIGHT CLUB -- CHOKE's budget is but a fraction of that film's -- but something better than a naughty midday movie would've been great. Gregg couldn't have directed this any flatter; it's shot and lit like a TV movie of the week, and the director loses all sense of the nihilistic, cockily apocalyptic tone which makes Palahniuk's novels so devastating and David Fincher nailed so thoroughly. A rest home full of randy old ladies loses any social context Palahniuk may have been going for and just feels like a creepy deleted scene from an Adam Sandler movie. CHOKE is thoroughly devoid of interesting imagery, suspension of disbelief or any real surprises. Even the great Sam Rockwell doesn't surprise, looking like he just wandered in from CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND. The actors are fine and there's a handful of amusing scenes, but this potentially incendiary story fails to catch fire, what with Gregg's direction sucking all the air out of it. Clark Gregg sure is a terrific actor, but he has a hell of a lot to learn about filmmaking.

6. 40x15: 40 YEARS OF THE DIRECTORS' FORTNIGHT
A French documentary about the turbulent events in 1968 which forced the Cannes Film Festival to create the Directors' Fortnight, which would showcase original cinematic voices the world over, and ultimately introduce or champion such filmmakers as Werner Herzog, Jim Jarmusch, George Lucas and Spike Lee, among many others. For film buffs, this shouldn't miss... and yet, it couldn't hit a barn door. Instead of giving us a palpable picture of the time, or of the rush of discovering all this creative talent, it seems content to wheel out a dry, flat, uninvolving parade of festival programmers and judges, occasionally interrupted from a blink-and-you'll-miss it sound bite from one of the directors mentioned earlier (a.k.a. somebody more interesting). A case of the slightly interesting made barely watchable; view this next to NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD, and you'll get what I mean.

5. GOMORRAH
Who would've thought a tough and honest look at the modern day mafia -- from Italians, no less -- could possibly suck this hard?? A film so boring, static, drab and forgettable that it is, in fact, taking considerable strength on my part to just recall it, never mind type the words. There are too many uninteresting sketches of characters running around being appalling that there's absolutely nothing for the viewer to hook into. And I would've thought a film like this would've packed a little more testicular fortitude when it came to the violence, too; there's very little violence in the film, and when it does arrive, it's positively unaffecting. I vaguely remember jumping in horror once... in 135 minutes. A true-crime social drama like this should pack a mighty punch and shatter you on the way down, yet this overly sparse and self-important dirge achieves neither. Apparently this has won awards all over the world for its director Matteo Garrone, which either says something about how low festivals are setting the bar these days, or my personal taste. You be the judge.

4. MODS
Another gem I saw at MIFF. There's possibly nothing worse, in film anyway, than a filmmaker working so hard to be cool you can see the sweat stains. Now, make that filmmaker French, and let's say he thinks he's a Wes Anderson type. (It actually struck me as a film a Wes Anderson character would make. And, y'know, we'd be laughing at him.) By this point, I'm torn, between trying to muster up the enthusiasm to write this review, and taking a hatchet to the director (one Serge Bozon). This is just one pretentious, mannered, cloyingly "quirky" set-piece after another, scored by 1960s tunes as obscure as they are grating... making its scant 60 minute running time seem like 260. Oh hell... check out my MIFF review if you need to know more... *YAWN*... what's next?

3. DONKEY PUNCH
Somehow this low-IQ twentysomething paranoia fable made a bucketload of cash in its native UK... haven't the Brits seen a horror film for ten years, or are they just immedately drawn to anything where randy folks ship off to Ibiza and drop copious amounts of Ecs, plot be damned?? I can't explain it, because after watching a clutch of completely unlikeable prats set sail for a drug-&-sex-soaked sea trip, only to off each other out of sheer paranoia, I couldn't imagine why anyone would subject themselves to this witless, charmless and brainless "thriller" a second time. What's more, I've been hearing all this hype about director Olly Blackburn, how he's "arrived" as a major new voice in horror, and I gotta tell ya: I haven't seen a hit horror film directed quite so badly, in many a year. I mean, Eli Roth runs rings around this guy. All the gore scenes are shot in extreme closeup so you can never quite tell who or what is being cut/slashed/torn up; one loses sense of all geography. And then there's the "twists" you could see coming from miles out, and a complete lack of suspense -- because, crucially, from the get go, the viewer couldn't care less about any of the characters embroiled in this thing. They're all arrogant, shallow and thick as two short planks... which is DONKEY PUNCH in a nutshell.

2. INSIDE
Pushing the boundaries of gore is one thing, pushing the boundaries of patience is quite another. Memo to the friendly neighbourhood wannabe goremeisters Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Maury who crapped out this turgid exercise in -- I'm gonna say it! -- torture porn: if you're gonna go to all the trouble of getting that fake blood and flesh and gore... SHOOT THE PICTURE SO WE CAN FUCKING SEE IT. Turn a goddamn light on, any one. There, on the wall, is a switch. Just flick the fucking thing and we can all enjoy the depraved action you have planned for our evening. My god. Other than taking place in 85% pitch darkness, it's very one-note stuff, gets campy very quickly, and, but for the film's climactic scene -- the one reason this Gallic gorefest has any rep at all -- adds nothing new to the slasher/torture porn genre. Pointless, idiotic and, thanks to an obviously incapacitated gaffer, invisible waste of everyone's time... which is a shame, because it could've been a blast.

...and the worst film I saw in 2008...

1. WORDS OF ADVICE: WILLIAM S BURROUGHS ON THE ROAD
Remember when you were a kid, and you couldn't stand documentaries because they were all dry, static, boring as batshit and never discussed the stuff you really wanted to hear about? If so, take a nostalgia trip with WORDS OF ADVICE, and be transported back to a time when docos were rubbish, or stultifying filler plonked in front movies you actually wanted to see. A crudely shot, ineptly edited, how-long-is-a-piece-of-string puff piece which laboriously takes four or five interviews -- all bar two are with academics who never actually knew Burroughs and, I'm sad to say, even those two ain't that interesting -- and stretches them to snapping point. Wasn't Burroughs a fascinating man with implacable demons and a deliciously devious mind? You won't find that guy, or anything else remotely interesting, here. A ten-ton aluminium turd.

As the overriding theme of cinema in 2008 seemed, to me, to underrate or overrate pretty much everything to some extent, I thought I'd fill the space between my 10 Best and 10 Worst by giving my completely unsolicited opinion on the five most overrated and underrated films in between...

T.S.I.K'S MOST OVERRATED FILMS OF 2008*
* These aren't bad films, just flicks that critics and/or audiences really drank the Kool-Aid for, and I'm baffled as to why...

5. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN
The Swedish vampire drama, a soulfully executed but narratively flawed little film which is in danger of being strangled to death by its own hype. It's been popping up in prominent places on many critical and internet Top 10 lists, but what irks me is how much people are ejaculating about how it's the best vampire film in 20-30 years, and how it has revolutionised the genre, blah blah. It's actually a very cool film which does come from interesting angles, but people, take a breath. Seriously. It's not terribly scary, takes too many detours to pointless out-of-the-way third-string plotlines, and is basically the age-old classic tragic vampire romance with an age transplant. It doesn't reinvent the wheel.

4. SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET
Further example of why I'm finding it harder and harder to deal with Tim Burton's direction these days; this is all gorgeously cosmetically grey sets and costumes, all Bride of Frankenstein hairdos and fake blood, and I didn't buy this world for a second. At the risk of sounding repetitious or parrot-like, Burton opts for far too much style over substance, and isn't willing to let the film dive in to the horror, comedy or Broadway musical genres, choosing instead to go half-speed on all three. This results in a horror film that isn't scary (what's with the Monty Python blood spurts?), a comedy that's barely funny and a Broadway musical adaptation which packs style but little snap. Much too self-conscious for its own good.

3. SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
This is being showered with all sorts of ejaculatory praise from the critical fraternity, and currently sits in the top 50 all-time favourite films of the IMDb crowd... and I just can't see what all the fuss is about. Yes, the story of an uneducated Mumbai "slumdog" who aims to clean up on Indian "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" for love, and the vignettes which inform his answers, is incredible indeed. But Danny Boyle's direction -- and normally I'm a HUGE Boyle fan -- is much too fast, too self-consciously "stylish", and too concerned with blasting its way through a string of fantastic (and, sometimes, barely plausible) anecdotes, to let us connect with its characters. We get to know Jamal a little, but what makes Latika so special to him? (We're almost being asked to love her just because she's a girl and, well, he's a boy, and why not, right?) Why is Salim, Jamal's brother, such a nutcase? And that's just the tip of the iceberg. We're being asked to accept a whole lot with such an outrageous story, so we shouldn't have to just accept an array of stock character tropes too. That's a lot to take on faith, and I'd prefer this film to meet me halfway.

2. THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY
Another allegedly devastating, life-changing film which just didn't connect with me. Again, it's an incredible story, and kudos for allowing our immobile lead character to be a prick for most of the picture, but it goes on far too many useless digressions, and ultimately pushes the sentimentality button strangely hard for a French film -- then again, the director is American. Even the clever device of seeing the world through the lead character's only moving part -- his eye -- isn't entirely new and revolutionary, not to mention his trip down memory lane, reassembling his life; there are films like JOHNNY GOT HIS GUN, THE SEA INSIDE and even old TWILIGHT ZONE episodes which has traversed similar terrain. Ultimately, this is a merely good film which wields its hand a tad heavy to be great.

1. BURN AFTER READING
See diatribe above.

T.S.I.K'S MOST UNDERRATED FILMS OF 2008*
* Conversely, these aren't all necessarily super-duper undiscovered gems of the cinema, just good, solid, highly enjoyable pictures critics and/or audiences really went out of their way to dump on, and, again, I'm baffled as to why...

5. THE INCREDIBLE HULK
You know what? It's big fun superhero action film, done the old-fashioned way -- albeit with some neat character work -- and I enjoyed the shit out of it. Okay, so casting Liv Tyler was a bad idea, and they should've kept Sam Elliott on, but Edward Norton is perfection, and who doesn't want to see Ed go mano-a-mano with Tim Roth?? A fine distillation of the comic book and the TV series, much more faithful than Ang Lee's Universal Monster movie, and not a giant bubble in sight.

4. SPEED RACER
The Wachowski Brothers set out to make a live-action anime film in every conceivable way -- from having human characters grunt and snarl at each other, to the design of garish prime-colour-soaked costumes, to having actors strike heroic poses, to the stunning colour palette and pristine visuals which infuse the film's every frame -- and succeed marvellously, as both spectacle and pop art. Even its daunting (and, admittedly, unnecessary) 135 minute running time skates by, feeling like 105 as colours and characters and situations and, yes, monkeys dart by you at an accelerated rate. Funnily enough, the Wachowskis let their left-wing flag fly once again, this time with a strong anti-corporation bent, and it actually works really well, fitting naturally into the story and not feeling as forced as, say, Baz Luhrmann's attempts at racial understanding in AUSTRALIA. A bubblegum, popcorn, big-screen Japanimation homage at its most purely fun and sugar-hyped.

3. ROCKNROLLA
Guy Ritchie is back doing what Guy Ritchie does, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Anyone expecting anything higher-minded from this guv'nor will not only get all the SWEPT AWAYs and REVOLVERs they deserve, because they neglect one crucial detail: Ritchie can pen and shoot a cocksure, tough-talking, piss-taking London comedy crime picture better than most, and seeing him work his old multi-stranding playground is a pleasure to behold. Slick, sharp, nutty as fuck and often amusing -- with the most charismatic Gerard Butler performance I've seen to date, coupled with a smashing breakout role for the excellent Mark Strong -- ROCKNROLLA does what it says on the box: it's a good, fun night out. Bring on THE REAL ROCKNROLLA!

2. TOWELHEAD
The critical reaction to Alan Ball's brilliantly discomfiting sexual and racial journey of a 13 year old Iraqi girl, based on the memoirs of Alicia Erian, seems to come down to, "Oh that's just Alan Ball doing what Alan Ball does." What they're missing, of course, is that he does it so damn well, and such searing, unfomfortable, messed-up private insight, that some people really don't know how to take him. Exploitative or honest? Soapy or perceptive? After loving (the now sadly slightly dated) AMERICAN BEAUTY and five years of SIX FEET UNDER, I found his directorial debut not only a successful continuation of the themes that have marked his career, but I think he's pushing himself further, getting even better. For taking on a genuine account of what it's like to be both a 13 year old girl and racially vilified in modern-day America alone (it's set during the first Gulf War, but the more things change...), the film deserves some credit. The fact that Ball does it with such tension, humour, detail and fearlessness is what makes him one of the most interesting and quietly provocative filmmakers in America today.

1. BE KIND REWIND
Just a great big gorgeous hug of a film: original, inspired, hilarious and seriously nice. More on that later...

And now... what you've all been waiting for (ie. you're closer to the end, and getting back to more important things to do)...

MY TOP 10 FAVOURITE FILMS OF 2008*
* Again with the disclaimers (this is the last one, I promise) but I have to admit, there are plenty of allegedly high quality films I didn't see last year: GONE BABY GONE, VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA, LEATHERHEADS, BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD, CLOVERFIELD, THE COUNTERFEITERS, THE KING OF KONG, THE ORPHANAGE, PERSEPOLIS, SHINE A LIGHT, THE SQUARE, THE STRANGERS, TROPIC THUNDER, THE VISITOR or WALTZ WITH BASHIR. With that in mind, enjoy.

THE RUNNERS-UP:
MY WINNIPEG, TOWELHEAD, SON OF RAMBOW, THE BANK JOB, FROST/NIXON.

10. THE DARK KNIGHT
...and it should count itself lucky. From the outside, anyone who knows me would've thought this was The Movie Built For Me. Hell, my blogging name is a pisstake of the title. When the trailer first hit the 'net, I watched it at least once a day for three weeks. I craved this film in a big bad way, ever since Jim Gordon flipped that evidence bag at the end of BATMAN BEGINS. I'm not gonna pretend to strive for objectivity: I had massive expectations for this picture. So I bought my IMAX ticket and tried to feverishly dial down my expectations... and when the lights came up, I wasn't irrevocably changed, powerfully moved, or even terribly enthusiastic. While my friends sat in wonder, I was just... confused. Why was I not rocked? While it does much right, the film drags a little in the last third (as did BEGINS) and Chris Nolan again proves, while he has many, many gifts, directing action scenes is not one of them. While the Joker and Harvey Dent are perfection, Two-Face -- normally a conflicted soul coolly obeying the whims of his coin (and, thus, his dementia) -- became a thuggish sort who spent his screen time yelling. But it went deeper than that... I couldn't place it. I saw BEGINS three times in cinemas, but I didn't catch KNIGHT again until I unwrapped the DVD, Christmas night. After that viewing, I discovered two things: the film is SO much about the War On Terror and the world we live in today it's not funny -- and where it stands politically is a mystery, something I'm still trying to work through -- and I still can't place what my real problem with it is. The fact the the film keeps reiterating the theme of Batman being "the hero we need right now, not the hero we want", surveilling the entire city to find the Joker (who is often referred to as "a terrorist"), while resolving to look like the villain for now yet awaiting the day he will be vindicated... there's enough parallels with a certain ousted administration to send chills up my spine. It could in fact be social commentary, and I'm cool with that. But if there's another agenda... no, I refuse to believe that. THE DARK KNIGHT is certainly the most interesting comic book film ever, and yes, it may in fact be the HEAT of costumed hero pictures... yet, just like that terrific, sprawling crime drama, it isn't by any means perfect.

9. IRON MAN
The yin to DARK KNIGHT's yang. Sure, it doesn't reinvent the superhero film, as some people have claimed, but that was never the aim; director Jon Favreau has done nothing more or less than make the most entertaining comic book adaptation he could, polishing the genre to a shine without sacrificing action or intelligence, and succeeded majestically. Casting Downey as Stark is and shall remain an all-time, hall-of-fame match of actor and character, up there with Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones/Han Solo. He's THAT perfect. Jeff Bridges makes a fantastic villiain and -- shock! -- Gwyneth Paltrow is absolutely Charm Central as Stark's faithful secretary. (Terrence Howard, a fabulous actor, is good as Stark's buddy James Rhodes... but personally, I'm looking forward to Don Cheadle kicking it in the sequel.) The genius of the film is it starts in a place where the superhero flick never has, with a guy who charms the pants off us, but he's not all on the level as a person, a guy we almost want to see fall... because we can't wait to see him pick himself up, turn his life around and get in that damn suit. (The JERRY MAGUIRE of comic book films?) Once he starts mucking around with the suit, genre formula takes over, but that's fine with me... this flick earned it. Massive fun from beginning to end... and, yes, I mean the very end.

8. BE KIND REWIND
It must be something about number 8: just as BURN AFTER READING, the year's 8th worst movie, was my most disappointing, BE KIND REWIND is my pick for the most underrated film of 2008. Michel Gondry secured my viewing loyalty after his genius job on ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND, so I went to see this film, thinking the trailers looked amusing, but knowing it'd ultimately sink beneath quirk overload, as Gondry's SCIENCE OF SLEEP almost did. Man, was I way off the mark. This is the genuinely sweetest comedy I've seen in years. When so much of what passes for cinematic comedy today hinges on either embarrassment and put-downs or, alternatively, mawkish sentiment, it's awesome to see a film managing to be genuinely hilarious, smart and sweet, without ever feeling disingenuous or cynical. Jack Black is in terrific form, wisely deciding not to channel John Belushi this time around (maybe Jonah Hill grabbed the ouija board that day), and Mos Def is proving to be quite a versatile actor. However, the star of the show here is Gondry: his writing is improving, but his visual virtuosity is something to behold. And it's all so seamless, you'll be out of the theatre an hour when it'll suddenly occur to you, "hey, that scene was all one shot..." He's a genuine cinematic artist, with a child's wonder at the world; a wonder which sustains BE KIND REWIND's nutty concepts and makes them whole.

7. WALL-E
While we're on genuinely sweet pictures, I present to you Pixar's latest triumph. A terrific film with interesting (and, I'm sure for much of the American public, confronting) things to say about where humanity are going as a race. As purely gorgeous (in every way) as any film I've seen this year, with real heart, a fully functioning brain and Pixar's patented storytelling skill on display. It has been somewhat overpraised by a hyperbole-happy media, but manages to back most of it up. It does have its flaws (why is there a live-action president??), but it remains a strong feather in the Pixar cap, which must be ready to sprout wings soon enough. The irony of a wholly computer-generated story about a lonely robot being arguably the most human film of the year is not lost on me, but it is much appreciated.

6. LARS AND THE REAL GIRL
I must be getting soft in my old age, as there's far too many nice, sweet and/or beautiful films in this year's chart. LARS' emotional beauty knocked me for six, and from such an unlikely premise, I had no right to expect it. Kudos to writer Nancy Oliver and director Craig Gillespie (whose only other credit is MR WOODCOCK, of all things), who fashion what could've been a self-important, laughable curio into a massively affecting, and often hilarious, film. The acting -- from Ryan Gosling in the title role (Lars, not the real girl -- but she's surprisingly effective, too!) to Paul Schneider and Emily Mortimer as his family and Patricia Clarkson as his doctor -- is tremendously good. The film is so beautifully understated, so gorgeously real, it can't help but hit all the right notes. By far, the funniest, sweetest and most emotionally honest film about a man and his sex toy you'll ever see.

5. TRUMBO
All I knew about Dalton Trumbo coming in was history's coverage: he was a Hollywood screenwriter blacklisted during the McCarthy senate witchunt trials of the mid-1950s, until he was hired by Kirk Douglas to pen SPARTACUS, thus reintroducing this major talent back into the Tinseltown community. What I didn't know was, the man possessed a love for, and command of, the English language and its permutations which may even put Aaron Sorkin to shame, a talent surpassed only by his sense of humanity and decency. Based on a stage play written by his son, which quotes verbatim many of Dalton Trumbo's personal letters to all and sundry, this documentary features interview footage with his relatives and friends, interspersed with a classy assortment of movie stars (from Michael Douglas to Nathan Lane, from Joan Allen to Dustin Hoffman) reading from Trumbo's letters, in character. The missives range from complete hilarity to humble tragedy, and the wordplay is dazzling. It's a simple device which proves hugely effective as it cuts to the heart of the man's talent, and the compassion at the man's core. What the HUAC senate hearings did to his life will break your heart, but Trumbo's wit and fire burned bright, and that is what remains.

4. JUNO
Simply, JUNO is one of those rare occasions where all the stars align, where everyone involved is working at the top of their game, to tell a what looks to be a fairly innocuous story absolutely perfectly. I really didn't expect this film to be so genuinely witty, so emotionally observant, so bang-on funny and so powerfully sad. Any one of these things would've been sufficient, but JUNO pulls all four with aplomb and you don't even see the strings. The cast are exemplary, the direction is note-perfect, the writing represents a genuine new voice, the soundtrack is fabulous, the costume design is inspired... I could go on like this all day, but the fact is, I couldn't tell you a single thing, a single moment, this film botches. When it was funny, I laughed like a loon; when it turned sad, I bawled like a child. In a time when so many films are almost-great, or heading to brilliance before driving off a third-act cliff, it's truly impressive to see a picture where everything is Goldilocks: just right.

3. [REC]
Step one: fuck QUARANTINE, the inappropriately star-studded US ripoff of this Spanish scarefest. Do exactly what the title implies; isolate it and destroy it. Step two: rent [REC] and watch it somewhere dark and quiet, with lots of friends (with strict instructions they don't talk all over the thing). Step three... Prepare to be scared out of your skull. Soak up the pure breathless intensity of the piece, and be blown away. Then, come back a second time, where you'll begin to notice how incredibly artful it is, what a technical marvel the real-time hand-held first person horror film can be, and note the raft of primal fears it touches upon. It's the Great White Shark of low-budget Spanish horror films, it's a scarily well-engineered fright machine, and damn near a masterpiece.

2. NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD
Documentaries aren't supposed to be this entertaining. They're worthy first-hand accounts of times and places and, if you're lucky, they're done with enough filmmaking prowess to prevent you from thinking you've just tuned into SBS on a bigger screen. They're not supposed to be better and more wildly entertaining than any feature film released that year... but other documentaries aren't NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD. From the opening -- kicking off with the old Aussie drive-in intro to the explosively colourful opening credits montage scored to Rose Tattoo's rough-house anthem "We Can't Be Beaten" -- this one grabs you by the face and doesn't let go. I've never seen a documentary more effectively illustrate the time and place it takes in; the music and the graphics are sublime, and for me, it's edited better than any other film this year. There are montages in this film where the images selected, the music backing them, the sequence in which they're laid out, are just so rousing and irresistable you're ready to either a) grab a camera right now and make your own Ozploitation picture, or b) just have a cinematic orgasm. But all of this would be for nothing if the subject were dull, or the interview subjects flat, but that's the joy: everyone is so open and honest -- for good or bad -- about the films and each other, that it's pure bliss, insightful and loaded with candour... as well as displaying a uniquely Australian intolerance for bullshit. Director Mark Hartley has such affection for his subject, and is, helpfully, such a talented filmmaker, his enthusiasm leaps off the screen, throws down the gauntlet and issues a call to arms for young Aussie filmmakers to pick up the genre mantle. It's both the most exciting syllabus ever and an inspiration. I can't remember the last time I loved an Australian film this much, and I'm stoked to finally be able to say that.

...and my favourite film of 2008 is...

1. THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It seems like so long ago now (I saw this in February), but Paul Thomas Anderson's scorching American epic still leaves a mark that stings. Ostensibly an intense character study of the emotional isolation and state of mind of one Daniel Plainview, oil tycoon and heavyweight champion bastard, played -- scratch that, inhabited -- by Daniel Day Lewis like it's the last role he'll ever play, leaving nothing behind. But it's also one of the very best films about America's identity, about the eternal struggle between capitalism and religion and the corruption bred by both, ever forged. It's men like Plainview who led us to where we are today -- and by "us", I mean the world entire, from the War On Terror to Global Warming. It's a departure in many ways for Anderson, who built a career on dialogue-heavy, multi-stranding ensemble pieces, but there are still glimmers of the PTA we know and love that shine through: dysfunctional father-son relationships, damaged characters taking solace in rage... Make no mistake, though: this is the new Paul Thomas Anderson, version 2.0. His first four films are uniformly excellent character studies which brushed up against greatness, but TWBB achieves it. From the nerve-shredding intensity of Jonny Greenwood's score, to cinematographer Robert Elswit's Oscar-winning rough landscapes of the soul, everything about this film is right on the money, building up to one of the greatest and most wicked endings in cinema history. At the very least, PTA may be our generation's Martin Scorsese. At the most, well... the sky's the limit, and I cannot wait to see what he's gonna do next.

Bring on 2009, he says, with the unquenchable optimism of a child, and all the cinematic visions it may unleash. Thanks for reading, happy watching, and have a fabulous year.

TSIK